Question: Many parents devoted to their faith often struggle to balance their responsibilities, feeling they lack enough time for their children’s education and upbringing. How can individuals effectively balance their commitments to family, community, and faith without neglecting any of these vital duties?

Answer: In Islam, rulings are categorized into different levels of obligation and permissibility: fard (obligatory), wajib (essential), mustahab (recommended), mubah (permissible), makruh (discouraged), and haram (forbidden). A Muslim is expected to respect these rulings and act accordingly. For instance, performing the daily prayers (salat) is a fard act of worship, and neglecting it is not acceptable for a believer. Similarly, performing the pilgrimage (hajj) is an obligation for every Muslim who meets its prerequisites; failing to fulfill it incurs accountability before God. On the other hand, the task of promoting and spreading God’s word (i‘lâ-i kalimatullah) is considered a communal obligation (fard kifayah). This means that if some members of the Muslim community undertake this responsibility, the obligation is lifted for the rest. However, if no one fulfills it, the entire community is held accountable.

Prioritizing Responsibilities

One of the key religious responsibilities of believers is to identify and address the neglected aspects of faith and work to revive them. Throughout history, scholars and reformers have often placed greater emphasis on such matters, prioritizing them as central to their mission. For example, Bediuzzaman Said Nursi recognized that the task of promoting God’s word was being overlooked during his time. He described fulfilling this responsibility as being, in a sense, even greater than other religious obligations.

Similarly, in the present day, there is an urgent need to share the beauty of Islam with the world and to make its message better understood. This calls for collective efforts to advance this mission, building upon and expanding the positive initiatives already underway.

The principle of obligation also extends to the means necessary to fulfill it. For example, if an act is essential for fulfilling a required duty, then that act becomes obligatory as well. Taking ablution (wudu), for instance, is a prerequisite for performing prayers. Since prayers cannot be performed without ablution, wudu itself takes on the status of an obligation. Likewise, while warfare is not inherently desired, it becomes a duty if it is necessary to protect life, property, honor, homeland, or independence. In such cases, fighting within the boundaries set by Islamic principles becomes obligatory because preserving these values is a duty.

As highlighted in hadiths, even the seemingly minor steps a person takes toward fulfilling a religious duty—such as walking to the mosque for prayer—are rewarded. This shows that actions, even if not directly commanded by religion, hold great value when they serve to fulfill religious obligations. Therefore, efforts, systems, and organizations that aim to spread God’s word should be viewed through this lens. Even if such efforts are considered permissible in themselves, they are elevated to the level of obligation when they help people connect with and appreciate the values of Islam.

Striking a Balance

Devoted individuals, both men and women, strive to fulfill their noble responsibilities by adopting methods and approaches suitable for today’s circumstances. Their goal is to ensure that all of humanity benefits from the wisdom of the past and the spiritual and moral values rooted in their faith. They work to ensure that the message of “La ilaha illallah, Muhammadun Rasulullah” resonates in every heart and ear. To achieve this, they engage in consultations, combine efforts, develop strategies adapted to modern challenges, reconcile differences, and combat ignorance. While these activities may not be directly classified as i‘lâ-i kalimatullah (promoting God’s word), they are essential steps on this path and are rewarded as if they were obligatory acts. Therefore, none of these responsibilities should be neglected or taken lightly.

For parents involved in such sacred efforts, balancing their duties with the upbringing of their children requires careful prioritization, effective time management, and shared responsibility within the family. Serving the broader community is undoubtedly important, but raising one’s children is also a sacred trust. By ensuring that their children grow up with a strong education, values, and faith, parents contribute to the long-term success of their mission, as the next generation will continue their work. Maintaining this balance is not only a practical necessity but also a religious obligation.

Our Test with Children and Our Responsibilities

Amid these duties, there is another responsibility that cannot be overlooked: the care and upbringing of children entrusted to us by Allah. Parents must nurture them in the best way possible, raising them with the noble morals of Islam.

The Qur’an describes children and family as a fitna (trial). This should not be misunderstood. Here, fitna refers to something that can lead to either success or failure. Allah tests individuals through their spouses and children. If you build a loving and respectful relationship with your spouse, combine your efforts to create a harmonious home, and raise your children with Islamic values so that others say, “This is what a Muslim family looks like,” you will have passed the test.

The Qur’an vividly depicts the Hereafter: “On that Day, every person will flee from their own siblings and ˹even˺ their mother and father, and ˹even˺ their spouse and children.”[1] The Hereafter will be so challenging that even the closest relationships will be set aside. If responsibilities in this world are neglected, this separation will be even more painful. For example, if parents fail to raise their children as upright individuals, nurture their abilities, and guide them to become productive members of society and servants of Islam, they will bear the consequences. Worse, if children—full of potential—are released into society without proper guidance, becoming a source of harm to themselves and others, they may hold their parents accountable in the Hereafter. Similarly, if children neglect their obligations to their parents, their parents will hold them accountable.

If neither the streets, schools, mosques, nor other environments provide children with the moral and spiritual foundation they need for this world and the next, then raising children becomes an even greater personal obligation (fard ayn) for parents. This is because the full responsibility rests upon them. Parents must work together, doing their utmost to ensure their children are raised in the best possible way. Neglecting this responsibility will lead to disruptions in both the family and society.

The home is the fundamental unit of society. If its foundations are weakened, society will inevitably suffer. As Bediuzzaman states, “A society composed predominantly of corrupt, immoral, or unprincipled individuals cannot remain healthy.” Just as connecting people to Allah creates a strong societal structure by placing a moral compass in their hearts, raising children to embody true humanity achieves the same outcome. Otherwise, both homes and society as a whole face the risk of collapse.

Practical Steps

While fulfilling the duties of service, we must also allocate sufficient time for our families and children. During the formative years—when the subconscious is being shaped—special attention must be paid to children’s spiritual nourishment. The impressions and lessons absorbed during these years are like a life preserver, keeping them afloat in life’s challenges, or a rope pulling them out of difficulties. As children grow, they should be included in structured programs and activities so that the values and enthusiasm we experience leave a lasting impact on them.

Additionally, we must remember that the behavior and attitudes of family elders leave a profound impression on children. Each of us must strive to live a life that sets a positive example. Personally, I recall hearing many wise words from teachers and elders during my childhood. However, what impacted me more deeply were the tears my grandmother shed when she heard Allah’s name and the long prayers my grandfather performed in the quiet hours of the night.

From this perspective, it is crucial for parents and family members to serve as steadfast pillars of support for their children. Today, families are smaller, and finding such role models within the home is increasingly difficult. Every parent must take on the role of those elders, guiding their children with love, wisdom, and sincerity.

Work-Life Balance

Balancing one’s responsibilities to both society and family requires effective time management and intentional effort. When members of a team or household divide tasks properly and support one another, there is little room for wasted time or energy. This approach enables everyone to use their time efficiently, allowing them to fulfill personal, familial, professional, and communal duties without letting one responsibility overshadow another.

The primary challenge often lies not in the number of responsibilities we carry but in our inability to manage time effectively or allocate tasks appropriately. It is not that dedicating ourselves to service efforts necessarily leads to neglecting our children, nor does focusing on family inherently hinder our ability to serve others. Instead, the issue often stems from poor time management and unproductive use of available hours.

For instance, in important meetings or discussions, we sometimes fail to prepare in advance, instead relying on improvisation. This not only unnecessarily prolongs conversations but also leads to inefficiency. In such cases, our attempts to address issues may falter due to a lack of clarity, insufficient preparation, or emotional distractions. Additionally, poor articulation or the misuse of words can unintentionally cause offense, leading to misunderstandings, disputes, and unproductive debates. These cycles waste valuable time and energy, making it even harder to balance competing responsibilities.

By prioritizing efficiency and approaching each task with preparation and focus, we can, with Allah’s will and help, ensure that nothing within our sphere of responsibility is neglected. Being deliberate, organized, and concise allows us to avoid unnecessary complications and ensures that all aspects of our lives—whether personal, familial, or communal—receive the attention they deserve.

In conclusion, neither the duty of promoting God’s word (i‘lâ-i kalimatullah) nor the rights of our spouses and children—entrusted to us by Allah—should ever be neglected. Both are essential and equally critical responsibilities that require our full attention. One should never be prioritized at the expense of the other, nor should the rights of one be sacrificed for the other. By managing our time wisely and finding balance, we can fulfill these duties in a way that respects their importance and maintains harmony in all areas of our lives.

[1] Surah Abasa, 80:34–36.